So, there I was, sitting at the bar, minding my own business, when out of nowhere some bodacious beauty walks up to me and starts flirting with me like some lovesick kitten. Of course, I, being the awkward dumbass that I am, struggled to even mutter a coherent combination of grunts and squeaks. Needless to say, she was not impressed. Even so, she must have been at least a little amused, since she took her sweet time reveling in my caveman-like charisma. She taunted me with questions like “Have you even spoken to a cute girl before,” and “Hey, can you stop drooling on me?”
Obviously the answer to both of those questions was “no.”
Stripped of whatever semblance of human dignity I had left, I returned home and went to bed. What I awoke to was fare beyond my comprehension.
It was that same sexy senorita, only this time she eschewed her sexy black dress for an even sexier set of pink lingerie, a pair of fairy wings, and bubblegum pink hair.
It seemed clear to me that I was having yet another wet dream, so I did what any self-respecting man would do and started to polish my magic lamp. It was getting good until the fairy girl ran up and punched me hard enough to make my teeth rattle.
“The fuck are you doing?” She demanded. I tried to tell her that I was obviously still asleep and having a wet dream, but all I managed was to sputter blood onto my sheets. It was about then that I realized the intense pain in my face meant I was not, in fact, dreaming.
“Wha- you’re real” I finally gurgled.
“Well, duh, dumbass, of course I’m real.”
She introduced herself as Kyu, some magical love fairy. She felt so deeply sympathetic to my inability to communicate when faced with pretty faces that she decided to become my own personal wingman until I became some sort of love god. I was doubtful, but when life gives you a love fairy, you make love.
I followed her to a nearby café, where I met my first real girl, Lola. At first, all I could do was stammer, but Kyu – who was completely invisible to everyone else, told me exactly what to say and do, so I just repeated her verbatim. Before I knew it, Lola and I were having a genuine, fun conversation. At Kyu’s behest, I asked Lola out on a date right then and there, and she agreed.
It was the happiest moment of my life yet.
But that was just the beginning of the weirdness in my life. The date turned into some kind of puzzle game right in front of my eyes. I guess it was Kyu’s weird fairy magic, but I ended up spending the entire date matching different colors, each of which represented some essence of dating according to Kyu. Once I had popped enough colors, Lola was happier than any other woman that spent an extended period of time in my presence. We promised to go on another date in the near future.
It was amazing, but according to Kyu, we were far from finished. She immediately took me to a shopping mall to pick up another girl. Then we went to a nightclub to meet a third. And so it continued until I was dating eight women at once, most of which knew each other, but neither of which seemed to care that they were all dating the same guy. None of them even mentioned it.
Soon, the puzzle game that I played during every date got easier, and dating girls became routine. I started to notice that I somehow get paid at the end of each date. I used that money to buy my hunies presents, which cause some weird love juice to come out of them. I would then give that love juice to Kyu, and then she would make me better at the puzzle.
Before long, panties were dropping like flies in my bedroom. And believe me, the views I got when they did were breathtaking. I even got Kyu herself to fall for my newfound charm. That got the attention of her boss, the freaking goddess of love herself. She challenged me to woo her as well, bragging that no man has ever gotten to warm her bed – which seemed strange for the goddess of love, if you ask me. Still, by then I was up to the challenge. She was not as easy as some of the other girls, but I still managed to win her over.
Thanks to Kyu’s influence, I gained the charm and charisma of a god. All it took was a little courage, and a lot of practice playing matching games.
Score: 4 / 5