Things to do in League of Legends: Fucking Teemo

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Hello, fellow summoners! Have you spent an exorbitant amount of hours playing League of Legends like I have? If so, you may have noticed the disheartening lack of different ways to play this incredibly addicting game. Sure, there are the standard 5v5s, 3v3s, ARAMs, and Dominion, but, really, they are all basically the same game anyway. Unfortunately, League of Legends does not offer any sort of in-depth map customizer for us to play on for un, but that does not mean we have to sit here with our thumbs a-twiddling while forced to play Riot’s way.

No, I offer to you a new solution: a new game type for you to play with your friends for endless enjoyment and frustration. I offer you Fucking Teemo.

Fucking Teemo is a game type that the Quarter Circle Gaming friends have invented as a way to both mitigate the occasional boredom of the Summoners’ Rift as well as provide a fun way to get our non-League player friends to come out of their hiding spots.

By now you are all either on the verge of leaving this page or simply wondering what the hell Fucking Teemo could possibly be, so here we go.

Fucking Teemo is a game played on the Crystal Scar, a.k.a. the Dominion map, a.k.a. “Ohy yeah, that is a thing, isn’t it?” Typically there are about 3-6 players, one on the blue team, and the rest on the purple team. As you may have guessed, the player on the blue team is Teemo, while the purple team consists of whoever you think is best suited to murdering Teemo.

There were a few house rules that we felt made the overall experience more enjoyable, such as:

  • Teemo cannot remain perma-stealthed. He must move roughly every 30 seconds or so.
  • No wards/oracles/anything of that nature. Abilities like Twisted Fate’s ultimate are fine.
  • Try to avoid characters with execution moves, such as Garen’s ultimate.
  • Generally, we wait until everyone naturally levels to level 6 before the game begins.
  • Teemo should not actively try to kill the other players. Of course, this depends on the group’s preference.

The first player to rack up 5, 10, or 20 kills on Teemo wins, depending on how long of a game you want. Those numbers seem low, but with a decently skilled Teemo, an hour could easily pass before anyone manages 10 kills.

While we never really tried, this game could just as well be played with an Evelynn, Shaco, or even Twitch in place of Teemo.

And that, my friends, is how we play Fucking Teemo. I Sincerely hope that this snippet has inspired all of you to hunt down and kill that little bastard. Happy hunting!

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1 comments on “Things to do in League of Legends: Fucking Teemo”

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